Prom Night

This is a PG-13 rated slasher flick.  Ugh.  That seems like a contradiction. Slasher film and PG13, huh? But, there you go. That should tell you somthing.  What is the point of a slasher flick, if you can’t really have any real violence?  I’ve actually seen more gore on House or CSI. 

There were no thrills, there were no chills, and there was really no scare. 

There were plot holes and plot points that made no sense. You’re telling me a teacher at your school stalks your best friend and kills her family but you don’t recognize him when you see him 2 years later? - He Was Your Teacher!

And I have to admit - even as a girl, I didn’t really get all the hoopla about prom. I will admit that my prom was nothing like that,  mine was in the high school gym. -  There were no people watching us arrive at the prom. - Did anyone else have some sort of red carpet arrival?  Who in the world has the time, or the inclination, to watch students arrive at a prom? 

But to give credit where credit is due, there was a prom. And this movie did take place mostly at night.  So, that was fairly accurate. 

This movie wasn’t funny bad, and it wasn’t bad funny, it was just bad. 

Leatherheads

George Clooney has directed only 3 movies, the last one being “Good Night and Good Luck.” Are you expecting great things for his follow-up?

Ummmm… I guess not. 

- Or at least you shouldn’t be. It might be trying to achieve the feel of a screwball comedy, but it fell very short of the mark.  I know Howard Hawks and I know Preston Struges and, you my friend… well, you know.

This was a solidly mediocre film.  The dialog did have wit in some places, but it just didn’t have the speed or the ability to go the distance.  There was a chase scene in the middle that was just painful to watch.  Clearly we were trying to pay homage to other movies, but it was strained and feel forced. 

Don’t get me wrong - if you have read any of my other reviews, then you know - I’ve seen worse.  This wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t particularly great.  It did have football scenes which the guys seemed to enjoy, and it had George Clooney, which I enjoyed (what can I say - the man is attractive).  Also, as a girl - the costumes are pretty good.  Those hats were sooo cute. But you can see great costumes in “In the Shadow of the Moon” only that’s a documentary and they aren’t costumes.

If you really want to get out and see a movie, then this is a movie you can see.  But if you have better things to do - go do ‘em!

The Ruins

Let me admit that based on the trailer, I didn’t really want to see this movie.  But Thing One and Thing Two (movie partners) called, and off I went.  It wasn’t really exactly what I expected. 

There were moments that I was genuinely horrified.  Not scared, but horrified.  Telling me that you are going to do something grotesque doesn’t actually lessen the horror (for me), it actually magnifies it (for me).  This movie actually made me twitch and want to turn away from the screen and it raised my pulse considerably.  So, it was fairly effective on the horror front, I guess. 

One part that was odd was the striking similarity to “Little Shop of Horrors,” except without all the great song and dance numbers. Or the comedy. Or the dentist - (I loved him!).  But there is just something about a mimicking carnivorous plant - plays well in the movies.   

Also, the character I most wanted to die, survived.  Always a disappointment for me. 

Fairly good.  Its been years since I went to a movie and had to watch any part of it with my hands in front of my eyes.  That was kind of fun.  Don’t see it if you are at all squeamish. Or if you don’t want to watch a real horror film, but if you go - Have Fun!

And preferably go with a ‘Thing One and Thing Two’ of your own - cause I’ve never seen them sqeamish before - but they totally were. Boys - Squeamish, kinda fun.

 

Doomsday

Huh.

Wow.

This movie almost leaves me speechless.  Seriously. This one is something else.  It’s like someone threw darts at movies from the 80s and then created a movie from whatever the darts landed on. 

At first I thought that someone had just picked popular 80s movies like, ‘Escape from New York’ and  ’Mad Max,’ but the fact that there was a heavy dose of ‘Lady Hawke’ make me think it was just darts. 

So, really, this movie is just a bunch of movies you’ve already seen. And you’ve seen them better, in the original. 

There is no plot. There is no logic. There is no point. 

But it did make me laugh.  It was so pointless and “logic-less” and deeply bizarre, that when we got to the music video in the middle, I just about died. 

And the costumes, the costumes were killing me as well!

This may actually dethrone “Alone In the Dark” (which has Christain Slater, Tara Reid, and Stephen Dorff - not to mention a 2.2 rating on IMDB) as the worst movie I’ve seen (and secretly love).  But I’m still not sure about that.  I might have to have a bad movie watch-a-thon to judge.  

PS - Don’t even ask what my favorite Lifetime movies are. The list is strong. And I defend it!

 

The Bank Job

OK. Let me be honest, I saw this movie with two other people, Thing One and Thing Two.  And they had completely differing opinions (as they usually do).  Thing Two was pleased by the amount of naked women in the movie, and Thing One was bored by the fact that this was just another ‘Dig-under-the-bank-to-get-in’ kind of movie.  Luckily, Thing One liked it better after the tunneling portion of the movie was over. 

So, with that out of the way, let me be clear.  I enjoyed this movie.  And since it was based on a true story, the internal logic held up fairly well (which is clearly a nice change).  It is not a deep movie, you aren’t going to learn anything meaningful, there isn’t a magical black man, and there really isn’t a good guy in the whole movie.  So its clearly a movie in which you hope the robbers get away with it. 

To sum up: It was fun, it was entertaining and it was enjoyable. 

But don’t take the kids - it is a movie full of vulgarity (but in funny British words) and nudity.  It is a good grownup movie. And sometimes there’s nothing like a good grown up movie!

 

Sleuth (2007)

It is nice to see Jude Law go from sure of himself to a sniveling, groveling shell with no stops in between.

This was a head-scratcher of a movie. It was stylized, well lit and moody. But it wanted to have lots of clever plot twists and it failed at that aim. I never saw the original and I still may very well check that out, even though this version was pretty disappointing.

Vantage Point

OK, let’s be clear - this is a movie about a complicated conspiracy, told from several different view points.  So, if you hate seeing the same thing repeatedly, or have trouble suspending your disbelief over large bizarre conspiracies - then clearly this in not the movie for you.   

If you can suspend your disbelief (or actually believe that large conspiracies exist and if you do, please don’t tell me about it), then it might be worth seeing.  This is a flawed movie (if it wasn’t, it would have had a better release date).  That being said, if you are looking for something to see in the theaters in the next couple of weeks - this isn’t a bad choice.  It has everything, a great cast, a complicated plot, explosions, long chase scenes, people getting shot and a jealous boyfriend (it was the closest they got to a relationship or sex - if they could have gotten either of those, then they would have had everything). Again, let me reiterate - the plot and logic only have a passing acquaintance.   The resolution is in some way, deeply unclear - not all the questions are answered, and I actually liked that.  It was more fun that way.  I was getting a little tired of seeing the same scene over again by the end.  And it personally bothers me that 2 secret service agents disappear in the middle of the movie (serious - black secret service agent and his partner run under the bridge and then just disappear - where did they go?

This isn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen, but is wasn’t bad.  So if you are looking for something to see now, or if you have a couple of hours to kill when it comes out on DVD then sure, what the hell, watch it.  It ain’t high art, it ain’t really logical, but its fun.

Diary of the Dead

I think I learned two lessons from this movie.  The first is that not  only have the dead risen, and they are blood thirsty, but in this modern age,  they also love the internet.  That is the only explanation I  can come up with for the this movie moment:  A man uploads film to his  myspace  page during a zombie killing spree and gets 70,000 hits in eight minutes.  Now the movie has been very clear to point out that most  people are dead, so clearly it’s the zombies themselves who are checking out the  mysapce page.  Clearly zombies are even more vain that the rest of us,  always so worried if the footage makes them look too dead.

The second lesson that George Romero seems to be teaching us is that film directors are  assholes.  Or maybe he was just saying that documentary filmmakers are  assholes?  I sort of hope its the latter - I’d hate to think George  Romero is that self loathing.  The ‘protagonist’ of the film won’t stop  filming - throughout the movie - and he won’t leave the camera behind  for any reason.  In fact, he watches while a friend is attacked directly in front of him, screaming for help. He just follows behind the  zombie who is doing the chasing, with the camera rolling.  Wow, that is just a  complete asshole move.

Ok, that ’s enough negative comments.  Let me say a few positives; there really were a couple of good laughs (intentional laughs) and some new creative deaths (which I always like to see).  It was one of the first zombie movies I had seen  where anyone deliberately fights the zombies with a bow and arrow - so, big thumbs up there.  And the best character in the whole movie is the mute Amish Farmer.
All in all, I had fun, but the things the movie actually taught me were not what they were trying to teach me.

Factory Girl (2006)

 

I didn’t know too much about Edie Sedgwick other than she was one of those “It” girls back in the ‘60s and she hung around with Andy Warhol.  And watching Factory Girl doesn’t add a lot in terms of Edie’s personal accomplishments, but it does paint a portrait of a happy on the surface / unhappy on the inside girl and her relationship with Andy Warhol and Bob Dylan.

Sienna Miller I think did a very nice job playing Edie.  The voice, the smoking, the smiling and laughing, it all felt very real.  Guy Pearce as Warhol was very good as well.  And as much as I found myself liking Edie and wishing she could find a true friend to help, I also found myself liking Andy less and less.  He is portrayed as a shallow, immature, and callous artist who uses much more of Edie than Edie used of Andy.

I enjoyed the film, but didn’t love it.  Felt a bit odd in terms of I thought years and years were going by, but in fact the majority of the story takes place in about 18 months.  Good, not great.

Sunshine (2007)

 

A sci-fi movie set in the not too distant future in which a team of astronauts is on a mission to the sun.  Well, not actually to the sun, but very close to the sun.  Close enough for them to launch the “payload” which is a nuclear device intended to re-ignite the sun and save Earth from frigid devastation.

The film is really enjoyable to watch with what I think is a very reasonable look at what space travel may be like in the future.  The ship is called Icarus Two, and the on-board omnipresent computer is also called Icarus.  Just to complete the Icarus trifecta, we encounter the original Icarus ship during the course of the movie.  That’s a lot of Icarus.  Icarus from Greek mythology is the son of Daedalus.  Daedalus fab’d up some wings so that Icarus could escape the Labyrinth.  Icarus did not heed his Dad’s warning though and flew too close to the sun which destroyed his wings and he fell in to the sea.

In my opinion, Icarus (the computer) seems capable of carrying out the entire mission without the need of human involvement, which would mean the ship and mission could be simplified considerably, but that would not make for a good movie now would it.  I also liked how the movie had a bit of a 2001: A Space Odyssey quality to it.  Visually, it looked great.  The spacesuits seemed a bit dorky, but they are designed for EVAs near the sun, so I guess they would be different than your typical NASA walk-on-the-moon type suits.

Good film, good acting, well shot, a bit slow moving but not terribly so.  I suggest watching it at night so you can turn the lights out and enjoy the sun imagery without the real deal getting in the way.